Lesson learned today: Don't delve on the judgments of others.
We are all different and in that we are all the same. I have been having this very weird feeling that sometimes I let others influence me more than they should.
How this lesson was learned-
I had been seeing someone from my work.
Now, this someone has been with this organisation for a very long time. Long time here means eight freaking years. (I know!)
We often ended up discussing about our work and how things are so crazy and why we still worked here when nothing was the same as before. We would talk about the employees, how they had been skipping benches when the management changed hands, how people are no longer ethical anymore. At first, it seemed like these were regular discussions- discussions which helped you understand the reason why things are changing so rapidly.
We all want someone to understand us. (Boy! how wrong I was.)
In my defense, there was reason to trust this person- to think that maybe he was right after all. Eight years in an organisation teaches you certain things... you start knowing about your co-workers as you know your family.
Once the call is done with and when I would prepare for the night, I would think about all that has been said and done. I would go to work the next day knowing all the dirty secrets and then people will no longer be normal people anymore. They will have an imaginary tag hung around their necks with their little secrets written over it. And, I would sulk every time I had to talk to a colleague who was the topic of our discussion the night before. I could no longer have a regular conversation, no longer maintain that I am just here to learn about my work, no longer maintain that my work was completely professional.
One day, you are hearing things from someone and the next day, you are the one talking about the very same things. Consciously or unconsciously. It doesn't matter because once the secrets come out, they are out. It didn't make me feel any better about myself. Did it?
Besides, I didn't want to sit through a meeting with my seniors already decided upon their character or their efficiency. I wanted to do that once I had talked with them, once I had decided how they have behaved with me. I wanted to respect my seniors and I could have done that only when I had made my own assessments.
There has to be someone whom we look up to at our work, someone whom we can admire, someone whom we can appreciate. After all, when you are 24, you need a role model everywhere you go.
There is another lesson learned here- not to date people from work. But, that is completely another story.
I am no longer seeing that person and I am feeling good about it. This couldn't have gone any longer because it was not right. I am not going to delve on the judgments of others because I can make my own judgments. (Thank you!)
Have a great day.
