I am Conflict.

I, recently started with my Masters program at one of the premier colleges for social work. 

On the very first day of our 9-day orientation program at college, our field director asked us to use this time to introspect upon our decision to choose social work. 

All of us thought, she was being arrogant. That she was wanting us to willfully leave because in her opinion none of us deserved to be here... to be in the field of social work. But, sure we were. Hadn't we prepared for months altogether to get in here? Hadn't we survived the interview sessions where our professors grilled us to our core? 

Sure, we deserve this! We deserve this and more. 

A couple of days before, another professor asked us to define conflict. We all had our own definitions. Some of us believed it to be a clash of ideas, of philosophies. Quite a few believed conflict to be the difference between needs and wants. When wants are more than can be satisfied- boom! there was a conflict in the making. I, for one, didn't have a definition. 

I am like that. I make my opinions later when all has been said and done. 

On the last day of our orientation program, we were taken for field visits- a  very important component of social work. 

There, we were, 96 of us, walking carefully on the mud-bathed roads of a thriving slum.  

It had been raining the day before and it will continue to rain for another couple of days. Flies burst out like shooting stars on a black night. People walked with conscious steps, skipping a puddle or two. Thatched roofs leaked in the merciless rains. Children ran and laughed, nonetheless. 

On another rainy day, as I sit and think about tomorrow, my tomorrow includes what dress I will be wearing, what classes I can bunk or attend, I am warm, protected, and blessed. 

I am blessed with the knowledge that I have a dream that I am working on. I am blessed because I have more than I need. 

But, how is it that we are so comfortable and warm even when it rains outside while for someone else, everything would be similar if not worse? How is it that I get a chance to better my life when someone births and dies without much promise?

I believe, this is conflict. 

If I get a chance, so should everyone else.

Maybe, I am conflict.

For Every Villain, There is Another One.

I read a news story on Yahoo News this morning. And the following is my reaction to it.

A village panchayat (a village council) in the Baghpat area of the state of Uttar Pradesh (India) has found an interesting way to tackle incidents of harassment of girls. 

It has issued an order that women below the age of 40 are barred from going to the market unescorted. (Because yes, there has never been an incident where a male escort was beaten up and the girl was raped; Because yes, the men in the villages don't need to go to work. All they need to do is take the women to the local market. However, if the men do need to go to work out of necessity, the women should be wise enough to know that they should lock themselves up. Because yes, women over 40 have never been raped. And mostly because, women do not deserve to have the right to free movement. Because women should be responsible mothers, daughters, daughters-in-law but they should never be treated like adults.) In a way, it's a good idea because anyways, the crowd in the marketplace will never come to the rescue of a girl who is being harassed. Why get ourselves into the mess for a random girl? It's not that she's someone I know. I'd rather discuss about the incident later with my kind of people over a cup of tea or while traveling in the metro. It's a good way to pass time. Oh, and you know what we can talk about: She was harassed!! Why did she go there alone? What time was it? She should have known better. Was her T-shirt too tight? She must have provoked him.

The Panchayat has also issued an order that people who would enter into a love marriage and people helping them do that will be ostracized from society. Great! Love is the reason for all the problems in the world. If we could only nip love in the bud, the world would be such a better place to live in.

And yes, who can forget about mobile phones. They've barred women from using mobile phones too because youngsters talk over mobile phones and fall in love. That's three in a row! Great job. (Because there is no right way to use a mobile phone. Because when you are actually harassed, when somebody is actually following you, a mobile phone that allows you to call up for help is the biggest evil. Ah, yes. An instrument. Not the follower. The biggest evil in today's world is technology and not the mind that has evil intentions.)

They say for every villain, there is a hero. Here, for every villain, there is another one. You don't get to see that often, do you?

Interestingly, the article on Yahoo ends with the line -- But the panchayat also decried the practice of dowry, calling it a punishable offence.

Dude, did you seriously think that was going to impress me? Oh, just in case, it wasn't clear- I am mad. Provoked. Furious.

PS: Personally, I do feel the need to have company when I need to go to a certain place but that is not because there is something vulnerable about me or something wrong about the place. But because of reasons so obvious. HOWEVER, it would be better if a need like that did not exist at all. If, men like that did not exist at all. Why should I be locked up, reach home by 8, and completely vanish from the streets while the perpetrators can roam around the city freely at any hour of the day without any fear for their bodies or for fear of being punished for their wrongdoings?

Oh, why do I need to be out after 8? None of your business. Just like my body. None of your business. If you can't help me when I am being harassed, if you don't have the balls to question the perpetrator for his actions, if you tell me "Maana ladke kutte hote hai, magar har ladki ko toh nahi chedte. Tumne hi kuch kara hoga" (Though guys are dogs but they don't mess with every girl, you must have done something to provoke them), then I am gonna KICK YOUR A**.

The Child Brides of India.

It is May 2012.

The heat reflects off the untarred roads creating simmering images of the infamous Indian summers.

42 degrees. 43 degrees. 44 degrees.

You can have a safe bet on the temperature unlike the rupee, unlike the country's economy, unlike the country's GDP. It will never fail you.

In this heat, a cooler buzzes in a one-room house in the Shakurpur Basti. Occasionally, a goods train passes by while passengers wait for their locals. In this basti, I meet three women- all the faces of a common woman of India. Dressed in sarees as is still the tradition, their foreheads beautifully decorated with the symbolic bindi, they are mothers to little children, they are the wives to the men who remain out of their homes working, bringing whatever they can. There is another thread that ties these women together, I realize as I step out of one house and enter the other.

There were all child brides.

No fathers were punished. No grooms were punished. Nothing was reported.

No history comes out to haunt you even when you have committed a crime. No enquiries called for even when the brides shyly tell you that they were married off when they were 15 or 16 or 17. No one is accounted for.

Except for the bride.

Of course, some are happily married, as they say.

But, some of them, they have a little voice that hesitates when they talk about their marriage. It could be anything… and yet.

And, this is Delhi, the country’s capital that I am talking about.

I wonder what happens when a child is married off- what circumstances surround her, what people tell her about marriage. I fall in the "lucky women" category and for the most part of the rest of my life, I will fall in that category as will my daughters.

India will celebrate its 65 years of independence from Britishers. 15th of August will be another day when the schools will be off, offices will be closed, another speech by our Prime Minister, and another day come and gone. God knows, we still have lots to be freed from. Freedom from Britishers, comparatively, looks easy.

Yes! Our forefathers, the creators of independent India thought about us- their progeny. They thought about how we will live in an independent country, and they thought about what we will have to our discourse. They raided the constitutions of the developed worlds to write a Constitution of our own- a remarkable achievement, a symbol of pride, a heritage.

India, though, still continues to struggle with child marriages.

India- A country where more than one-thirds of all the world’s child brides live. 

India- A country where marriage is celebrated for what it is- an occasion to rejoice, a union of two souls into one, even if the bride is 16 and the groom 18. Even if the bride is 12 and the groom is 14. Even if the bride is 13 and the groom 18. Even if the bride is 17 and the groom is 30.

India- A developing country.